Written by Egg Man

Monday, 19 February 2007

image for Tunbridge Wells people, mad or just insane?
Lead based drink made this Tunbridge Wells man mad

The famous Spa water at the Pantiles Tunbridge Wells in the south of England has been found to contain lead as well as iron. People in Tunbridge Wells have been "Taking the waters" for centuries and it is only now that the lead content has been attributed to the odd behaviour that local people portray.

An eminent doctor who has studied toxins and poison contamination explained "People in Tunbridge Wells have been drinking this highly toxic liquid thinking it was helping them keep fit and healthy. Sadly it has had the opposite effect; lead makes the mind play horrible tricks sending the recipient eventually mad".

This would explain why so many Tunbridge Wells inhabitants are completely round the twist. It was first thought strange when it was noticed that a larger than usual amount of youngsters had turned to Morris dancing. Local Pantiles resident Mrs Mini T Moocher said she could hear the bells and the banging if sticks all through the night. She rang the police who confiscated fifteen tankards of spa water.

The Pantiles often hosts a French open market day when French street sellers bring there goods over from France and set up stalls around the spa. Having so many mad Tunbridge Wells people around must surly make the French feel at home.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: England, English

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