ET McCrone Denounces USUK Failure to Care for Its Children

Written by Pointer

Wednesday, 14 February 2007

image for ET McCrone Denounces USUK Failure to Care for Its Children
Near PM Brown's mistress appreciates how poor families prevent childhood obesity

"You Suck,USUK!,that's right, I said it!" This was the opening line of candidate for PrezMinister, ET McCrone's latest campaign speech.

Liverpudlian, NYK'er, Tucsonensian elevator operator, McCrone, long a lover of children, launched an uncompromising attack on two of the wealthiest nations of the world based on the UN study on children's welfare.

I'm abandoning all of my previous campaign promises-that's right no more bridge or tunnel or dental dam from York to NY...Now I stand for the kids!If you fat lardasses can't open you fat larders and take proper care of the little ones (Some say the mystery candidate got his name from the Greek New Testament phrase for the little ones) than you have truly lost your souls!"

UK almost PM, Dark Horse Brown reared up at McCrone's attack: "We wouldn't be England if there weren't a considerable number of waifs to stammer: 'More gruel suh, please'. Don't the man revere Dickens!".

On the opposite bank of the pond, leading candidate for the Demogogic nomination for president, Hillary Clinton had this to say: "McCrone can do all the bandstanding for the impoverished he wants. Maybe he should take up the violin!I know the poor, I married one, and, believe me, poverty is poor preparation for decency..."

McCrone's rebuttal was a challenge to all candidates to convert their campaign contributions into aid for poor children: "I've already forwarded my $7.55 to the Food Bank!" ET boasted.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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