Blair To Go Gay for a Month

Written by Travis Casey

Thursday, 8 February 2007

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Oh Mandy...

London - Tony Blair announced today that he is going to become a homosexual for 30 days. Blair stated that since he has initiated and passed several laws giving gays more rights that he should find out first hand if he has done the right thing. Blair admitted that since he fell out with the Catholic church over gay adoptions, he himself should become gay to see if that was the right thing to do. Last month Blair failed to allow the Catholic church to discriminate against same sex couples when considering parents who want to adopt children. The Catholic orphanages in turn said that they would close the childrens' home rather than give them to gay and lesbian couples.

Blair stated "The church's decision to close children's home deeply sadden and hurt me. I now have a duty to see if their decision to discriminate against homosexuals is founded. I will therefore leave Cherie and the children for one month and become gay myself. I hope to find the answer in that time whether gay is good, or if gay is not the right environment for children.And you never know, I might like it and stay gay"

The speculation is mounting on who the Prime Minister's partner will be. Cultural secretary Tessa Jowell has commented that the Prime Minister may opt to just "cruise public conveniences" and do the gay scene with multiple partners. Betting shop Ladbrokes has named Blair's gay friend and EU commissioner Peter Mandleson as the hot favourite. A Ladbrokes spokesman said "Mandy is the ideal choice for Tony. He's already gay, they are the best of friends and Mandy can show Blair the ropes on how to be gay. They're made for each other."

John Prescott said that since he is the Deputy Prime minister, he should be chosen as Blair's partner. "Tony and I have already been in bed together, so to speak, for the past 10 years. I think I could be a good pansy. Tony would have to be the femme, mind, but we already know each other and Cherie would understand. After that Tracy Templer thing, I need a change."

Home Secretary John Reid said "Tony's probably already gay and just using this as an excuse to come out of the closet. With a wife like he has, and he's never been caught having an affair? He's got queer written all over him."

Blair has yet to name a date for his gay transition.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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