Donna Smith, a 37-year-old from Mithering on the Trent, has realised that her new boyfriend, Gareth, looks up to Donald Trump as some form of role model.
'It is bad enough that his name is Gareth, but this is even worse. My previous boyfriend, who I was with for four years, looked up to Barack Obama, but he was sexy, and charming, treated me and my friends very well indeed, and he had a smile, and a body that just mafe me go weak at the knees, but now I have Gareth. He disagrees with everything, is whinging, complaining, laughs at his own jokes, and I think that I am now stuck with him for ages.....He is a lot older, maybe nature can take its own course.'
Donna's former boyfriend, Kevin, said 'She would say that, wouldn't she?'
'Still, it could be worse,' said Donna. 'At least he doesn't look up to Michael Gove or Jacob Rees-Mogg.'