Written by Alan Goodfellow

Wednesday, 31 January 2007

image for Former England Football Star In Airlift Drama
It was a bit hairy at one point

Dramatic scenes were witnessed this morning following an incident involving former England Football legend and Disney superstar David Beckhan at his Beckingham Palace home in Hertfordshire, Bucks.

It is understood that Mr Beckhan was airlifted by helicopter for an emergency operation at his manicurist after his fingers dramatically went through his toilet paper earlier this morning.
There were scenes of panic in the local area after desperate screams were heard up to 3 miles away from the 8th floor bathroom of his mansion.

One passer by, Mr Ronald Echasketch who's asked to remain anonymous clearly heard Mr Beckhan shouting "Victoria, Victoria, HELP.......me nails are all contaminated!!"

Mr Echasketch whom we'll call Mr Smith for the purposes of this article added "Nobody knew what to do, Mr Beckhan is a lovely bloke and it was terrible hearing someone like that in so much distress, I immediately informed the emergency services who knew exactly what to do"

It's understood that Mr Beckhans children, Romeo, Brooklands and the other one, are being comforted by his wife's parents at their Essex home near Surrey whilst Victoria keeps a sunbedside vigil.

A spokesman for the puppy loving toilet paper company involved, issued a statement saying, "At this stage we decline to comment until one of our wipe test dummies have fully tested the remaining sheets on the roll "

In the mean time it's understood that the LA Bourneville, Mr Beckhans new USA based "Soccer side", have called an emergency meeting with their medical experts to discuss the image risks of having a player with potentially dirty nails"

Disney are also thought to be concerned as to the seriousness of the incident, but are still yet to issue a statement.

More developments as they come in........

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: David Beckham

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