The executions of Barzan Ibrahim and his lover, Awad Hamed al-Bandar, were completely safe and in accordance with guidelines which will be issued tomorrow by The Society For Problem-free Hangings.
So says UN Secretary General Kofi Annan, who wasn't there, but was told about it, and later saw it on the BBC.
Trouble flared when Barzan's head became detached from his neck, causing concern for his long-term health. He was examined by a quack at the scene, who pronounced him "evil and dead".
Mr Annan, whose name means Pineapple Coffee in some languages, told reporters, "He was a nasty man and deserved to die in a gruesome, but safe, way. The gallows were well-made, the rope was thick, and the drop was appropriate for his weight. The only glitch was that his neck wasn't strong enough to withstand the fall. It is unfortunate, but there are plenty more where he came from."
Hangman Albert al-Pierrepoint said, "Ah did me best, but 'e were a fat bastard, weren't 'e?"
As trials continue, many more necks are expected to be snapped soon, although, sadly, not those of George Bush or Tony Blair.
