'Snakes in a Cab' Opens Friday

Funny story written by President Bush

Tuesday, 16 January 2007

image for 'Snakes in a Cab' Opens Friday
Cab (on the right), snakes in charge

Samuel L Jackson, not content to fight off 2000 snakes on a plane repeats his award winning reptile slaying performance in Snakes in a Cab opening this weekend.

On the surface it would seem that even ONE snake in a cab would end the movie after say, 15 seconds.

Nope. Universal studios as usual finds a way to turn a simple infestation of 25 deadly vipers in a New York City taxi cab into a 2 hour snooze-fest. Film critic Dane Wallace after watching the preview said,

"I fell asleep. Didn't wake up until the folks around me started screaming. I don't know what happened prior to me waking up but yep .. there it was, up on the screen, dozens of snakes slithering all over a passenger in a cab."

That passenger (Tom Hanks) spoke with reporters briefly saying,

"Well, it wasn't like doing the Forest Gump thing. Apollo 13 either. They used real live snakes in that cab. Thank God Samuel Jackson the driver was there to help me fight them off."

When asked how Jackson could drive the cab AND fight the snakes at the same time Hanks replied,

"You just have to see the movie, all I can say."

Samuel Jackson spoke with reporters saying,

"Yes those were real snakes. It's a shame I had to bite the head off of one of them, Myrtle (we had names for them) but it was in the script so I had to do it."

Despite several logical flaws in the movie such as

"How come Hanks didn't die the first time a viper bit him"


"What the heck are 25 deadly vipers DOING in the trunk of a New York City Taxi Cab"


"How does hitting a BUMP in the road cause a cab's trunk compartment to fracture .."

these are all minor niggles reviewer Dane Wallace says,

"Just go and enjoy the movie. You sat through Snakes on a Plane you can certainly sit through this."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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