Saturday, 11 August 2018


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image for Western women wearing burka “through laziness”
Geoff Stubble models his favorite red burka

It is an unlikely garment for a typical British woman to wear. After all, most Brits are non-religious and care little about modesty. Yet a growing number of white non-Muslim women are choosing to wear a burka, particularly at weekends when they don’t need to go to work.

“It’s very liberating,” said Geoffetta Sausage, 36D, of Coventry. “Most women have to go through a whole routine to get ready before leaving the house. Now, instead of spending half-an-hour doing my make-up, I can just chuck on my burka.”

Jeffoline Kennedy, 32C, of Norwich agreed. “When I’m in my burka, I don’t get whistled at or leched at, at all. Most people don’t even dare talk to me, and some actually cross the road to avoid me. It’s fantastic!”

Transsexual Geoff Stubble, 40A, of Chaffinch St Cock, also wore the burka, but for slightly different reasons. “I look a dog's dinner without me wigs, and it takes a while for me to get ready with all me corsets. So if I just need to nip to the shops for a bottle of vodka, then the burka helps. Also, I love the way it feels. All those men checking out my big butt and shoulders. Oh yeah! It’s hot!”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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