Prison authorities are employing mobile zoos to give inmates a chance to stroke exotic (not erotic) animals claiming snakes are better than rats who normally reside in Brit nicks!
However, one mobile zoo, misunderstood that they should bring snakes and adders, and instead took several snakes and ladders! Not amused prison officers did not allow the ladders inside, so, the zoo owner leaned them against the outside wall and this caused a riot inside with inmates rushing to the wall hoping one of their family members would throw the ladders over the top!
Luckily, nobody escaped, and inmates returned to their cells hoping to stroke a snake, meerkat, lizard, or other exotic creatures on offer because prison medical staff believe that stroking such animals is therapeutic. Bird Man in Alcatraz preferred the tweety, non-slimy type, but times have moved on and Burt Lancaster is dead anyway (RIP Burt).
Tax payers are outraged because when they wish to see or stroke such animals, they have to pay horrendous entrance fees for the kids, and criminals get them for nothing!
The inmates favorite was a huge boa-constrictor dangling round a rather sexy female zoo-keepers neck. Horny prisoners clambered forward hoping for a quick stroke, and as the shocked snake attempted to escape the inmates hands, it disappeared between the zoo-keeper's legs; and that bought the house down!
One inmate said, "stroking snakes beats wanking anytime mate and is certainly therapeutic especially that boa, now wheres that damn ladder?!"