Recent divorcee Jason Johnson, 41 has discovered that he really is too old for nightclubs.
'I went to Scratchy's, down on the high-street' said Johnson 'You know how well Chutney on the Fritz is served for the night-life, don't you?
'Anyway, I was in there, all dressed in my best corduroy, and smart shoes, and the bouncers just looked at me, laughing. I went in, and everyone else was like a teenager, or in their early twenties. It was just all of that bish bish bish bosh bosh bosh music that they played, and then they had the classics hour.
'I was the only one up and dancing to Counting Crows. I remember when that album came out, before meeting Linda, and having the kids.
'I feel really ill, and old now. Has my life really been such a disapointment?'