Written by SpoofyDoofy

Wednesday, 2 November 2016

image for Duchess of Knightsbridge: "I shall pay the £millions needed, for the whole London Stadium rebuild, out of my purse!"
Is the purse of the Duchess big or deep enough, for the £millions needed?

Troubled London Stadium, Stratford, LONDON: With an expert in Stadium building announcing that the athletics stadium should be demolished and rebuilt properly as a football stadium, the Duchess of Knightsbridge has made an enormous gesture.

"Let it be known that I shall pay in FULL for the London Stadium rebuild!" cried the Duchess of Knightsbridge. In tears, she came forth to express her regret that West Ham Utd had ever left the Boleyn Ground.

"All David Sullivan kept going on about, was that the toilets were better at the London Stadium, than the Boleyn Ground! Surely we could have upgraded the toilets at the Boleyn rather than go to that athletics track up Stratford way!"

With a Stadium expert advising to knock down the violence-prone London Stadium and starting again, the Duchess of Knightsbridge has offered to open up her purse to pay for it ALL!

The rebuilding cost COULD spiral even more, the extra charge is now quoted at £52 million, but never mind, the Duchess of Knightsbridge can pay that out of her purse and has agreed to do so!

Members of Parliament are already calling for West Ham Utd to play their matches behind closed doors, but with the Duchess offering to pay for the full rebuild costs out of her purse, this 'might' quiet them down in shock!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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