Celebrity Footballers plan strike in protest at the ridiculously low pay they are expected to live on

Funny story written by markplln2011

Wednesday, 22 June 2016

A number of famous footballers, including the likes of David Beckham, Michael Owen, Frank Spencer and his wife Betty Spencer, etc, etc are planning to go on strike next week, as a protest mark at the ridiculously low pay they are expected to kick balls around a field for.

David last week spent at least 90 minutes of kicking a ball round a field, just to earn a piddly and pathetic 4,000,000 GBP. He complains that it takes another 20 minutes of his time to go down the bank and pay it into his account, plus he has to pay 5 pounds in petrol money to get to the bank from the pitch, plus 1.50 GBP to buy a parking ticket for his crappy old Ferrrari that is only worth about 250,000 GBP at a push and is at least 6 months old and now has a 2 millimetre scuffle on the wing mirror. He would like to tow this car down the scrapyard and buy another 1 without this minor scuffle, but says he just cannot afford to do this on the piddly wages he earns on a football game.

He is also complaining that he also has to pay 50 quid every time a member of his family wipes their bottom in the toilet, as he uses 50 quid notes as toilet paper at the current moment, as it simply too much hassle to walk to the friendly neighbourhood store net door to his home to buy a roll of Andrex, which if he did buy it, would cost him at least 1.99 GBP out of his hard earned wages. His wife has suggested lowering the cost by maybe only using 20 quid notes or even just fivers, but feels that such low value notes to not match up to the soild gold taps and other luxury bathroom fittings and makes him feel tight fisted and mean.

Although the club pays for his football boots to help subsidise these low wages, scoring a goals will often mean dirtying his boots and having to go to all the trouble of asking the club for a new pair to replace them.

Frank Spencer says that although this is a big step up from being totally unemployable and relying on social security to pay his way in life and that the same 4,000,000 quid for a 90 minute game seems like an absolute gob smacking fortune to him, he just isn't happy being took the mickey out of by other players, making ooh Betty, Jessica's done a whoopsie remarks and not even knowing how to get anywhere near the ball, let alone score a goal. There is also the issue of other players acting like spoilt schoolchildren in the gents locker room, calling him a poof and generally using him as a punchbag.

A number of Franks colleagues have also complained that they don't get any extra wages for bullying Frank and that they often hurt their fists while puncing him across the head.

NUUFS National Union of Underpaid Football Superstars, will be launching the action, sometime early next week. More news on the subject will follow shortly after. Stay tuned folks ! ! ! !

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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