Criminal sues police over unflattering photo-fit

Funny story written by Stevey G.

Friday, 1 May 2015

image for Criminal sues police over unflattering photo-fit
Mr Frat, traumatised after release of unflattering photo-fit image

Career criminal, Ashley Frat, 27, has reportedly been awarded a considerable out of court settlement following his recent legal action against the Metropolitan Police.

Mr Frat was convicted earlier this month for aggravated burglary following a raid on an off-licence, during which he viciously attacked owner, Ahmet Singh, 46, beating him repeatedly with a hammer.

Mr Frat's identification and subsequent arrest was achieved largely as a result of the public response to the nationwide broadcast of a photo-fit picture of the alleged attacker.

It is that very photo-fit that has been the subject of much legal debate over the last two weeks.

According to Mr Frat, the image was 'unrealistic and unflattering.'

'It's a bloody joke,' he stated indignantly. 'I know I've got big ears, but I'm not bloody Dumbo. They also got my nose far too big, my eyes too close together and I've got far more hair.'

Since the image was broadcast on National TV, Mr Frat has been subjected to a torrent of ridicule and abuse, both in person and on social media.

Det.Sgt Richard Bigcock, 42, was apologetic. 'I would like to offer Mr Frat an unreserved apology on behalf of the Metropolitan Police.'

'Although we acknowledge that Mr Frat has had his feelings hurt by this episode, in our defence the description that we worked with was provided by the only eye-witness to the incident, who had just suffered a severe beating about the head with a hammer.'

Whilst the amount of the settlement awarded to Mr Frat is unknown, reports have suggested that it is a five figure sum, which will be paid to him following his release from prison next week.

We asked the victim, Mr Singh, who is still recovering in hospital and who was awarded £75 from the Victim Compensation Fund for a comment.

Unfortunately we are unable to print his reply.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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