Sky customer takes 96 hours and fails to cancel contract

Written by Stevey G.

Wednesday, 22 April 2015

image for Sky customer takes 96 hours and fails to cancel contract
'I'm just doing my job. Have a nice day!'

A customer who spent 96 hours online trying to end his contract with Sky TV is now suffering from mental exhaustion.

Digbert Dongle, 46, from Ventor on the Isle of Wight logged onto the Sky online chat service, thinking that he would be able to cancel his subscription more easily.

After four days online, Mr. Dongle was informed that he was not allowed to terminate his contract as it was not a full moon and Jupiter was in the ascendance.

'It's a complete nightmare', said Mr. Dongle earlier today 'That's four days of my life I'm never getting back and I'm still signed up to Sky. It would be easier to leave the Scientologists!'

During the course of the online chat Mr. Dongle was in communication with 12 separate representatives as they went on and off their respective shifts. The first four hours were taken up going through the initial security questions.

'Most people would have given up at that point,' said Mr. Dongle, 'But I'm a right stubborn bastard!'

The transcript of the conversation runs to almost 560,000 words, which is approximately the same as Tolstoy's novel,'War and Peace'.

Sky News are unrepentant. A commentator confirmed that internal protocols were followed to the letter and that Mr. Dongle should have been aware of the rules governing cancellation which are covered succinctly on page 1,946, paragraph 15.9, sub-paragraph 27.36 of his contract.

Mr. Dongle is considering whether or not to take legal advice on the matter.

'I'll leave it for the moment though,' he stated ' I'm going to have a bit of a rest first and deal with the filing of my online self-assessment tax return. I'm told it's really easy if you do it online and that you can always phone HMRC if you need help!'

Well, Good Luck with that Mr. Dongle!!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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