The new comedy pairing of Ed (the pole) Miliband and ED(Bollocky red)Balls is to be known as the Marxist Brothers. A Labour party spokesman confirmed the pairing as a mind blowing combination of scintillating intellects. Their aim is to take politics to an all time high, or was that meant to be low?
The pair will be doing the rounds of the working men's club circuit free of charge to win over voters to their cause. They will also be handing out free posters of their idols, Karl Marx, Mao Zedong and the much loved Joseph Stalin. This kind gesture should please the communist union leaders who voted Miliband into the the leadership position.
Bollocky Ed and his wife of another name had been the darlings of the Labour party for some time and had expected to take over the leadership, but for the untimely intervention of the unions. Ed said that he has fully forgiven Miliband for stabbing him in the back after old one eye Brown's departure. Can you really believe that?
Mili has not ruled out a liaison with the comely Nicola Sturgeon of the SNP, but his wife is none to happy about that; depends on his definition of liaison, she was heard to say.
One thing high on the agenda is the lowering of the age of consent to placate some of his leading party MP's, who shall remain nameless for the sake of decency. To follow, will be an amnesty for all illegal invaders, which should certainly swing a couple of million voters in Labour's favour.
So! You all know what to do. Vote UKIP.