Written by LEDHEAD

Thursday, 19 March 2015

image for One family from London responsible for all lengthier A & E waiting times in UK

A family from the Elephant Castle in London are said to be the cause of the National Health Service's ever growing accident and emergency waiting times. Waiting times throughout England and Wales have rocketed to the average of four hours per patient.

It was discovered that the Withers family from London, all in good health but all suffering from the mental affliction hypochondria, were visiting UK hospitals as much as 10 times each per day.

Their bogus conditions included illnesses such as ebola, malaria, chicken pox, dementia, various cancers, radiation sickness, paralysis, the mumps, hooping coughs, scarlet fever and loss of vision, to name but a few.

The family's burden on UK accident and emergency departments was further compounded by them splitting up in the morning and using multiple identities to out fox reception staff at the hospitals they visited.

The Rt Hon Jeremy Hunt , Secretary of State for Health and MP for South West Surrey has admitted the family's continuous pressure on A and E Departments explained why waiting times had gone bonkers. His department also confirmed that photographs of the family had been circulated to all hospitals in England and Wales but this in itself was ineffective as the family's ability to disguise themselves effectively was becoming ever so complex.

The family were unavailable for comment at their London address as they are seldom home.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Hospital

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