Written by Patrick Parkinson

Friday, 6 March 2015

image for Study finds "referring to yourself in third person" still most reliable way to get ahead in career

A recent scientific study has found that one of the most effective ways of getting a raise or promotion in work is to "constantly refer to yourself in the third person".

Scientists believe this method can re-enforce in other people's mind that you are a strong individual who should not be crossed.

"Referring to yourself in the third person is already something which footballer Zlatan Ibrahimovic and professional WWE wrestler The Rock have both been known for and it's worked extremely well for them" said psychology expert Roger Timpson. "Rather than saying can you pass me the stapler - try to say can you pass Roger the stapler".

Experts believe it can also add an aura of intrigue to your character as people around the office question who this person is you are referring to.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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