Isle of Wight News - TT Pavement Car Races - Casualties Fear

Funny story written by Auntie Jean

Saturday, 10 January 2015

image for Isle of Wight News - TT Pavement Car Races - Casualties Fear
Proposed Race Track

The controversial International Pavement Car Race is to be held on the Isle of Wight in February, despite fears of injuries and deaths as the racers hurtle around public pavements. The event could potentially become the most prestigious pavement vehicle race in the world and it is hoped by the organisers that the Battery Shopping Vehicle Grand Prix World Championship will be held in Ventnor in 2016. The race will initially be run as a rally-type time-trial format on public footpaths closed for racing by the provisions of a new law, emulating famous dangerous motor cycling events held at another Island in the U.K.

A trophy for the single-battery class, and overall winner of the first event has been donated by the Marquis de Scunthorpe and is made of welded together scrap metal pieces. featuring a stylised version of the Olympic God, Herpes by Michaelangelinojolie. The organisers are hoping that a lot of contestants will fall off their pavement vehicles so that it will become as riveting to watch as the Isle of Man TT races. Many tourists attractions are already drawing in the crowds to the "magical" Isle, but few are televised and hardly any are staged specifically for adrenalin junkies. Protests thought to be organised by rival organisations including the Isle of Man and the Isle of Dogs have led to fighting and hundreds of objections have been lodged with the Island's tourism board.

Related News
Attempts to thread the "Needles" back together have had to be abandoned due to an unexpected spell of good weather.
The attraction known as The Needles used to be a beautiful natural feature of towering white rocky pinnacles in the sea, but it was partly knocked down by powerful waves in a freak storm, leaving a mediocre set of rocks, looking more like a hooligan's front teeth after a lively Saturday night in Newcastle. February is traditionally a slow month for tourist revenue, but it is hoped that the new P.C. races might give the Island's economy a welcome boost. There will be plenty for the children to do, as always, when the races are on, with 'hunt the thimble' events and a new spooky dark 'Wrecker's Walk' along the cliffs.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot