The twang's the thang!

Funny story written by Herrdoktorfox

Wednesday, 15 October 2014

image for The twang's the thang!
Next on Phil and Chaz's 'want list'.

A massive pair of soiled silk knickers once reputedly worn by Queen Victoria has sold for almost £500 an inch.

The Royal underwear with a regal 52-inch waist, plus 66-inch bust chemise, sparked a fierce bidding war when they were auctioned this week.

An anonymous buyer, paid £18,000 for them - a surprise for Ali, Ali & Ali Auctioneers of Deptford, South East London, who had estimated a price of around £2.99.

Senior partner and Auctioneer, Ali Mustafa-Shiite said: "It was incredible. In my 40 years I've never seen such a strange item generate such massive interest. We had calls from America, Australia, South America, Europe and all over Britain. This only goes to prove that there are many very perverse infidels lurking around the globe, thank goodness or else we would not have made such a handsome profit.

The underwear, with the monarch's Crest of intense tan Curry stains, was given to Ali's Great, Great Grandfather, a servant, by Queen Victoria, for services rendered after a night of extreme passion and for being extremely well hung and jiggy with it!.

After further enquiries and a hefty backhander, Mustafa-Shiite has revealed the name of the anonymous buyer as being non-other than Phil The Greek who, we have learnt, was in a fierce bidding war with his son Prince Charles, both avid panty sniffing/wearing transvestites!

For a further bung, Ali also revealed that both Royals are frequent users of an exclusive soiled panty website called; "Scratch n' Sniff" and regularly compete with each other for both Royal and celebrity knickers.
Apparently, Phil has a largest collection, ranging from a rancid pair belonging to Catherine the Great, a pair of Lady Di's genuine hipsters plus a pair of Kate Middleton's marred agent provocateurs, circa 2011, which Prince Harry gifted him with on his 90th birthday.
Not to be outdone, Prince Chaz has some real prize-winners by way of a full set of Katie Prices' own brand panties which carry a vast assortment of stains, a matching set of Eugenie and Beatrice's thongs and an autographed pair of bloomers once owned by Enid Blyton which Chaz discovered in a charity shop in Hackney Wick.

At time of writing both Royals are in a bidding frenzy on Ebay for a newly listed pair of XXXXL 'briefs' once belonging to Vanessa Feltz with elasticated waist still intact!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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