Out Of Control Leprosy Epidemic Sweeps Through Goole

Written by Auntie Jean

Thursday, 9 October 2014

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Incurable Epidemic cure

Pressure on the Oxford English Dictionary Editors and Wikipedia to describe "epidemic" as an isolated single case is mounting.

Tabloids and online news agencies have long been complaining that the E word increases newspaper sales and Web hits and an "epidemic" as described by its dictionary definition never seems to happen.

A spokesperson for the Daily Pile told our Grammar and Spelling Editor that the Press was a U.K. industry like MacDonalds, The N.H.S. and any other company and needed help in lean times.

"The number of Malaysian plane disappearances has fallen to zero and there are no celebrity paedophile cases in the news. If we could run huge headlines saying "Out Of Control Leprosy Epidemic" for instance we might survive the news drought. Better still would be something like "Incurable Ebola Epidemic sweeps Goole" but no-one seems to give a fuck so we misuse the term constantly. They don't sue us as they can't be arsed and generally all left school at 13.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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