Written by queen mudder

Friday, 19 September 2014

image for Bill 'Because I'm Worth It' de Blasio shrugs off $50,000 UK political conference speaking fee
De Blasio will roll out his top stand up routine

New York - The Mayor of New York is getting a fat $50,000 check to be the keynote speaker at next week's Labour Party Conference in Manchester, UK.

Bill de Blasio's first class plane tickets, hotel suite and out of pocket expenses will also be reimbursed in a sweetheart deal brokered by Ed Miliband, head of the Brit socialist party that's hired the NYC mayor.

Ultimate booking agents for the half hour stand-up routine are thought to be the International Brotherhood of Amalgamated Boilermaker Unions Pension Fund which sponsors Labour.

Their headline act at the 2013 Conference was US homemaking queen Martha Stewart who spoke passionately about perfecting her macrame stitch work while incarcerated in jail for insider dealing scams.

De Blasio will be rolling out his latest gag routine including some solid long time favorites such as his military service record (gotcha!) and personal global warming tits. Uh, tips.

Readers can book their ringside tickets for Tuesday's Autumn Equinox performance by clicking right here.

All frights reserved.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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