David Cameron is reported to be "livid" about rumours that he has not been informed about negotiations for his possible defection to the "highly popular" YUKIP party.
Nigel Farage is said to be delighted about the rumours and is said to be keen to recruit a "Face" to his party rather than someone that mo-one has ever heard of. Critics of the government's "do nothing" policy have suggested that this rumour may be a "damage limitation" strategy after Cameron woke up this morning to everyone's nightmare scenario of thousands of press photographers milling around his house.
Not knowing what they were there for he had a head count when he arrived at work and found the M.P. for Clacton had joined Farage's ranks. Resisting the temptation to kick Nick Clegg in the crutch, Cameron gave an impromptu rant to the jubilant media, who up until then didn't know that he hadn't been informed.
