Written by Auntie Jean

Monday, 4 August 2014

image for Wigan Pier Fire - "Piers" Morgan Dynamites Structure To Extinguish Blaze

One of the few remaining intact Victorian Piers with landing stage and International Hotel and casino, Wigan Pier was heroically saved last night by daredevil "Piers" Morgan. Morgan, real name Sidney Morgan, an intrepid self styled superhero with external underpants, was suspended from a fire helicopter from which he attached explosive charges to the blazing structure, afterwards detonating them to starve the fire of oxygen.

Wigan Pier has been voted Pier Of The Year for the last ten years by the members of the National Pier Painting Society. It received more than twice the number of votes of its nearest rival, CROMER. BANGOR was in third place, making this a bad year for Welsh piers.

The pier opened in 1891 and shortlu afterwards achieved International fame when legendary comedian and fat free grill designer, Geotge Foreman was born underneath it. In 1892 it began to attract strange people offering trips to Workington. The pier has a cafe and tea gardens, a florist's and a weighing machine! In 1902 alone it attracted some 25,000,000 visitors who paid £10 each to stroll along its deck, but it wasn't until 1907 that a pavilion, the Bijou, was built at the seaward end. Ironically this burned down in 1908.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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