Man Loses Out On Job Offer Due To Pathetically Weak Handshake

Written by Adrian Booth

Wednesday, 28 May 2014

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Nathan Edwards had it all: a 1st class honours degree from Oxford, a Masters degree from Cambridge, Captain of the Rowing team and a CV so strong it could take on a grizzly bear.

But all is not looking up for Edwards as he was recently rejected from a job at Goldman Sachs due to his flimsy and pathetic handshake.

His interviewer said it was a shame, seeing as Edwards ticked all the boxes Goldman was looking for. He scored the highest grades in university, completed multiple internships successfully and spoke 4 foreign languages fluently, including one he created himself. The Goldman interviewer spoke exclusively to The Spoof:

"He was the perfect candidate on paper. Everything about him screamed success. But his handshake was quite frankly embarrassing. He offered a flimsy, weak shake with only 1 pump of the hand. Goldman typically asks for at least 2 pumps in the initial greeting, 4 at the most. Edwards didn't stand a chance. He was dead on arrival".

Recruiters always stress to candidates the importance of the initial handshake, but it's evident to us that Edwards became complacent. There is now pressure on universities to teach students how to perform a proper, bona fide handshake in order to avoid students like Edwards losing out on further opportunities.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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