Here Comes The Gays

Funny story written by Backandtotheleft

Tuesday, 21 January 2014

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Domestic Violence? Probably The Gays

Politicians are not known for their philosophy or even for their integrity, but sometimes one of them comes out with a piece of information that makes institutions like Back and to the Left news sit up and take notice.

David Silvester a councillor for UKIP has decided to tell the world why the floods plaguing the UK have really happened.

Wearing nothing more than a pair of yellow fishing dungarees and a Disney hat, Mr Silvester took to standing on car bonnets during a traffic jam on the M4 to inform us all on what was really happening.

"Legalising gay marriage is against the Gospel and that is what has caused the floods."

We assumed it was global climate change and inadequate flood defences but whatever.

"This is the wrath of God come to fruition."

He bellowed as he leapt from car to car being extra careful not to expose his bum too much. Obviously in case one of those nasty bummers snuck up on him. He wasn't finished with the flood though, expouting even more cat shit crazy ideas as he scaled the side of a van.

"Homosexuals are to blame for everything! Diving in the Premier League? Gays! Syria? Gays! Knife crime? Gays! Gays! And more Gays!"

It seemed to us that Mr Silvester was trying to push an agenda but we couldn't quite put our fingers on it.

He continued to scream his accusations at an uncaring God above.

"Why do you think so many pensioners die in the winter? The cold? It's the gays!"

Was he racist?

"The fact that Man Utd are playing so badly is due to the influx of gay supporters!"


"Dinosaurs where are the dinosaurs? They were here before the gays came! The gays killed Gods most glorious lizards."

Maybe he was a little anti semetic we weren't sure what he was getting at. Could you perhaps make yourself a little clearer? We asked.

This seemed to incense the Councillor who, seemingly, believed he had wings and he flapped his arms as he leapt from the side of the van.

Although the police said later his body was still intact when it was removed, nothing can remain intact when their hit by a lorry that size.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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