Whitehall, London - (Associated Mess): Files released under the 9/11 Freedom of Disinformation Act have revealed that the Pentagon ordered its UK outreach office at Tory Party HQ to insert a re-programmed Lore prototype android as the next party leader to spearhead Plan B emergency measures in the Whore on Terra.
Such was the panic at the US Department of Homeland Insecurity over the succession to the Bush Administration at No 10 Downing Street that a Son of Star Whores contingency implant was activated to deploy a Blair2 mutant easily remote-controlled from the Mothership in Capitol Hill.
Personality design-flaw defects from the original Lore programme were given the cloaking device treatment via a loadsacash make-over from the bi-partisan bungs-for-peerages initiative that also destroyed all UK Special Branch DNA files relating to Blair1 paternity.
This included Cameron father-in-law Viscount Astor made a shadow junior minister despite a dearth of any obvious talent except replicating Jeffrey Archer-esque Euro-Septic double-speak.
And finally, those little tell-tale adolescent glitches - such as dealing crack cocaine while at Oxford University - were made obsolescent via a carefully crafted, Oscar-nominated Rovian script that edited out any standard baggage Lore2 mutation psychopathic traits.
Cameron, 40, was elected unopposed.
