The "Mother of all hen parties" has been booked in Ibiza for the Queen's wedding vow renewal booked on 18th September to take attention away from Scotland's Independence referendum.
Containers of sexy balloons, Queen outfits, plastic tickler orbs, crowns and squeaking sceptres are to be shipped to a secret location on Ibiza in advance of the hen party. The Queen's favourite band, Queen has already been booked.
It is thought the free admission renewal of vows will take place in Edinburgh all day and night to distract voters from the Independence vote. The Queen's dress will be made by "My big fat Gippy wedding" dressmaker, Peggy Slag.