Unemployed to be forced to wear identifying badges

Written by John_L

Friday, 13 September 2013

image for Unemployed to be forced to wear identifying badges
The Work and Pensions Committee

The Work and Pensions secretary Iain Duncan Smith today announced that the unemployed will from now on be forced to wear a badge identifying them as 'Work Shy' so that members of the public can easily identify them.

"For too long the Work Shy have been able to roam freely among us. We need there to be a simple way for them to be marked out." Mr Duncan Smith said in a statement to the house. "The badge will be a simple black triangle with the words 'Work Shy' written on in bright yellow. To claim benefit a person must wear the badge and a person who is not wearing a badge who can't provide evidence to the police that they are in work can now be arrested and fined."

The Local Government minister Eric Pickles also spoke on this issue in the house. "I wholeheartedly support the move to force the Work Shy to wear badges. However we need to also restrict the sale of Lanyards and ID cases. It is too simple for a Work Shy individual to buy a Lanyard and plastic ID case and mock up an ID badge for themselves so that at a distance people think they must have a job. People caught doing this should be subject to a custodial sentence." The rest of Mr Pickles statement was inaudible as he picked up his supersize bag of Doritos and started to munch before he had finished speaking.

Opinion on the move was mixed. The Lib Dems initially made noises that they would oppose such a move, before falling into line with the Tories. Labour pointed out that as more people are unemployed than those who are able to claim benefits if the policy came in it would actually show that the true number of those out of work was close to five million. UKIP said it thought that the Tories were steeling their idea to force Romanians to wear a brown triangle. While Rupert Murdoch was said to be pleased that Cameron was following the example of his new pet the Australian PM Tony Abbot.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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