London - Obstetricians at the London hospital say a new batch of royal baby clones is ready for the final pick as greedy royal gold digger Kate Middleton prepares to farrow her Baby Cambridge.
"The Queen herself has ordered these hatchlings," Professor Sir Einstein Flintstone of the Royal Freak maternity wing said today, "in case what emerges from La Middleton's loins is - how can I put it? - the wrong shape, size, gender orientation or maybe even color."
Apparently in 2001 one royal birth at the North London maternity clinic was hastily covered up after a blue, alien-like creature emerged from one HRH's womb following a romantic encounter at her Area 51, Roswell honeymoon stay.
A changeling was hastily installed in its place by Royal Freak geneticists who then 'took care of things' with the ET-hybrid infant which some say is being brought up by NHS technicians in the hospital's subterranean rearing bunker.
Of course generations of royal mothers-to-be have successfully delivered at the London birthing suite despite it's dodgy reputation in countless other baby snatch scandals.
Nearly 30 years ago one royal mother-to-be found a ratarsed George Dubya Bush claiming paternity of her newly delivered offspring before he was forcibly removed by London Special Branch.
"Yeah, but you won;t find any of that in official documents," Flintstone added.
"Wanna see pics of our Brazilian special effects and leg-wax salon to guess who's who in the Midwifery Stakes line-up?
"Nah, thought as much."