Northern Teacher of English - Sacked

Funny story written by Mark

Friday, 14 November 2003

image for Northern Teacher of English - Sacked
Florian Dirne - Marred by his Lancashire Accent

Teacher of English, Simon Tyldesley (29), at the Luisenschule in the city of Essen, in Germany's Ruhr area has been formally discharged on grounds of his northern accent.

Born in Bolton, Mr. Tyldesley has a very strong and pronounced Lancashire accent. Being a teacher of English as a foreign language Mr. Tyldesley's students therefore take on board the nuances of his lect.

Florian Dirne, a recent graduate of a German University is in the proceedings of suing the Luisenschule due to his northern accent as he believes it hampers his employability by English speaking organizations.

"Wen I go for t' jobs like, I always feel reet nervus talkin me English." Commented Mr. Dirne, "I allus get all hot ?n' self conscious, then I say summat stupid. They loook at me like I'm sum alien or summat. I've bin tryin t' get a job now for like sevun month, I've had interviews an such like for tens o' places but I allus get turned down like, y'know?"

Mr. Tyldesley refused to comment but is said to be "reet upset" by the whole thing.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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