Unfortunately the Prime Minister was unable to attend House of Commons Questions for the sixth week running due to an unavoidable incident.
'I was finding my in growing toe nail on my right foot had become unbearable' Cameron explained 'so I had to go to my local A & E for treatment. After five hours of excruciating pain I at last saw a nurse. She had been on duty all night and clearly needed a break but I knew I was safe in her hands.'
Eventually a foot consultant was able to attend the uncomfortable Premier. 'The trouble is that your right foot has clearly been trodden on by an assailant' declared the Consultant 'I will give you a sedative to help you avoid Parliamentary Questions for another month.'
'Thank you Doctor' sobbed Cameron 'that should help me find my feet again.'