In yet another bold stroke to bring joy and happiness to our fair land, Davy Cameron announced today that Ant and Dec have been appointed as the government's latest Czars; their role, to cheer up the nation.
Cammy stressed, in a jocular manner and a knowing wink that this was no gimmick and to prove so the government were allocating generous funding for local projects. Known as the 'Must'nt Grumble Grant' residents and communities can apply for these grants when they submit projects that can effectively distract people's attention from the reality of a country sailing serenely down the swanee.
Davy Cammy Wammy said "that they were originally going to appoint Smiley Culture, obviously because he must be a fun guy with a name like that, but we found out that unfortunately he'd been shot by the police; ho hum"
