Government to send long term sick abroad

Funny story written by John_L

Thursday, 6 December 2012

image for Government to send long term sick abroad
A research lab in Maryland.

Health secretary Jeremy Hunt today announced plans for the government to send the long term sick and those who are still classified disabled to mainland Europe and the USA.

"We have struck a deal with two pharmaceutical companies." Mr Hunt told the BBC this morning. "We get to ship out some of the scroungers and in return they will pay us for letting them test dangerous and experimental treatments on them. It's a win win situation."

Patients groups have reacted angrily. "This is another case of this government treating people like commodities in their plan to privatize the NHS." The Patients charter chairman Lord Holmes said. "Heath spending is being cut year on year until 2018 and now they are selling people as human guinea pigs."

"Look this is a great idea that I whole heartedly support." David Cameron said in a statement. "Look some of these people have been getting benefits for years and they have to constantly use the NHS for treatment. I hope that this will get them out of our hair for good, perhaps if the herd is thinned a bit we can save on pensions."

The project is set to bring in around £1bn over the first three years but it could be expanded to include the long term unemployed at the Budget in April. Chancellor George Osbourne is said to be in favor of the scheme being expanded to include those on a state pension. The first shipment of people whill be sent out next week.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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