18-Month Inquiry and 2000-page Report into Poor Press standards calls for Better Press standards

Funny story written by Talking Tic-Tacs

Friday, 30 November 2012

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Lord Justice, Equality, Prosperity Leveson

Lord Justice Leveson has concluded his inquiry and subsequent report into questionable Press standards, commemorated by the customary photograph of him standing statesman-like with the report under his arm.

The Judge's report on the industry was called for after the phone hacking scandal forced the closure of the News of the World. Made up of four volumes and longer than War and Peace the report makes some startling revelations.

Among those, Lord Justice Leveson dug deep and discovered that the tabloid press look to sensationalise too much, "recklessly prioritising sensational stories" with no thought given to the harm caused.

In more groundbreaking research Leveson found that "there is a tendency to sexualise and demean women" in tabloid newspapers.

One of the biggest challenges for Leveson to address in the report was the issue of what many believed was weak self-regulation of the Press. For this Leveson brilliantly suggests "tougher" self-regulation.

Critics say the press cannot be trusted to self-regulate for which Leveson proposes an independent self-regulatory body, set up by the Press, which would be "underpinned by legislation", and therefore not actually independent at all. Instead it would amount to a form of State regulation of the press, although totalitarianism would not necessarily be imminent.

The Prime Minister has broadly agreed with Leveson's explosive findings, so broadly infact that he has said he will not implement Leveson's recommendation. While Ed Millipede and Nick Leg have backed the idea of legislated regulation.

Political observer Darren Suitcase (yeah he's gotta lot of baggage) is confused. "Let me get this straight, the Tories are championing a free Press while Labour want some State regulation, and the Liberal Democrats have taken a clear stance on something, waw this is one Westminster head-fuck."

True 'dat Darren. True 'dat.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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