More comfortable seats to be installed at bus stops

Funny story written by IainB

Wednesday, 30 May 2012

image for More comfortable seats to be installed at bus stops
Gone are the uncomfortable seats that tramps couldn't sleep on and pigeons couldn't crap on

Manchester is to trial a new system for making waiting for buses more comfortable and pleasant for commuters by installing sofa style seating at bus stops throughout Greater Manchester.

"It think it's a brilliant idea," said one local commuter from Oldham, Kevin Underwood. "There's a big comfortable seat there now, it's quite plush really."

According to Underwood, he only needs to evict the vagrants, brush off the bird guano and then sit back and wait for a bus.

"This is just one of several improvements we've made for our commuters, said Second Choice bus operator manager. "We've installed indicators in many bus stops that indicate how long the next bus will be, we've installed WiFi hotspots at all our major terminals and all our bus drivers now apologise for the delay."

Cynthia Hectic also commutes regularly from Oldham to Manchester, and equally regularly from Manchester to Oldham.

"I think all these improvements have been a massive waste of time," she said. "They've cost Second Choice buses an absolute fortune, when all they really needed to do was put more buses on."

According to Hectic, Second Choice have been reducing the number of buses across all their Manchester routes.

"Take my bus," said Cynthia, "if it ever arrives. It used to be every twenty minutes, now it's once an hour. There's more people who need to use the bus, as they can't afford to run a car any more, but there's less buses. How does that work? I'll tell you how that works. Those people who can't get on a bus sit on the comfy seat and surf the free WiFi and wait an hour for the next bus."

Whilst talking, three buses turned up, due to the previous hour's bus being delayed, and the subsequent hour's bus being early. They were still all full.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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