Fury at Long Wait in Checkout Line

Funny story written by Dan Cun

Tuesday, 29 May 2012

image for Fury at Long Wait in Checkout Line
It is a disgrace!!

Furious shoppers in Boca Raton Florida have demanded an explanation as to why they had to wait four minutes in line at a local "up market" grocery store - some even describing the experience as "horrific".

The Fresh Market grocery store prides itself on its customer service, quality of products and selection of products. Customers appreciate that shopping in a "nice" environment is worth paying more for groceries, which could be purchased for less, at other "lower end" stores.

However when an "up market" store, which charges more for the identical product, available at a "scummy" store (sometimes 30 per cent more) makes it customers wait in line, those customers turn, and in this case they turned ugly.

One highly agitated old Jewish woman, a retiree from New York said "If I want to stand in line and waste 5 minutes of my day then I will shop at Wal Mart or Win Dixie…I pay more so I want more! 5 minutes is a lot to me..I have, erm, you know, stuff to do, like, well, it doesn't matter what, but I don't like waiting!"

Another shopper, who was "tutting" and shaking his head throughout his "long" wait, told me "It is a disgrace! I come here because I don't want to shop with lower class people, I know I pay more but for that I want not to wait in line….God dam it! God dam it!" he screamed, his fat face turning red.

Others also demanded an explanation and vented their anger by murmuring to themselves, shaking their heads, looking at their wrists at non-existent watches and not actually saying anything to anymore at the store, as not to get into a confrontation.

"That will teach them" said one woman, who actually did noting, did not complain, just rolled her eyes, at me, who was not at all bothered by the wait.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more