Venus turns retrograde as Rebekah Brooks awaits her fate

Funny story written by queen mudder

Monday, 14 May 2012

image for Venus turns retrograde as Rebekah Brooks awaits her fate
Rebekah: bags of credibility, charm and poise.

London - The planet of love and luck stands motionless on Tuesday, shagged out in Gemini, sign of the twins.

Its stationary transit sees the ex-NewsCorpse diva face the cold steel of handcuffs as CPS lawyers decide if she's perverted, er, the course of stuff.

The day also belongs to Saint Sophia of Rome, a Catlick patron saint of sudden late spring frosts who is venerated in Central Europe as poscana Zofka - ['pissing Sophie'].

So is fate taking the piss with beleaguered Rebekah and hapless whorse trainer husband Charlie Brooks?

Online bookmakers go even money that the couple have just jumped their last hurdle and are on the home run with all charges being dropped.

An immaculate performance before Lord Justice Leveson saw flame-tressed Rebekah dazzle the courtroom with bags of credibility, charm and poise.

Quite how much of that aura has rubbed off on CPS prosecutors adjudging the case against the Brookses is quite another matter.

A decision to prosecute would see them taken to a custodial remand centre pending a new application for revised bail - it could be a whole day or maybe a week before a surety hearing can be heard by an appropriate judge.

And somewhere in the cosmos the planets realign for Rebekah, queen of the Sun and handmaiden of fate.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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