Someday Times That's Rich! list peddles same old bollox

Funny story written by queen mudder

Saturday, 28 April 2012

image for Someday Times That's Rich! list peddles same old bollox
All the usual suspects laid bare

London - The usual suspects have been trolled out as top of the UK's filthy lucre pile.

Rankings compiler Sir Peregrine Tosspot has included the FBI's Ten Most Wanted under a series of false identities 'such as the Duke of Westmonster'.

Alleged squillionaires are mostly based in London according to the editor who says the city is seen as slightly less corrupt than Moscow, Chicago or even the Vatican.

Top of the pile is self-styled nabob Lakshmi Pisstaka, supposedly worth a bob or two from outrageous metal scams in the Blair era.

Next a convicted Ukranian extortion specialist with an unpronounceable name weighs in at twelve point five billion - all of it laundered with the aid of Boris Yeltsin.

In third position is Prince Charles' firstborn bastard by Lady Kanga Tryon and alleged owner of Chelsea Football Club.

Etc.

Publishers of the fictitious annual list remain defiant that their's is the only authoritative ranking despite some colossal Big Oil N Gas omissions.

Last year the IMF reckoned just one American couple is worth fifty million times more than the entire That's Rich! list contenders, give or take a dollar or two.

Roman Abramovich is 69.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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