Sunday Times Rich List Features Local Tycoons

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Saturday, 28 April 2012

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Skoob's off down the pub...

The annual bible of the UK's richest people will feature a group of local media magnates for the first time when it is published tomorrow.

The Sunday Times Rich List logs the ups and downs the country's richest people, listing the annual incomes for fat cats in all walks of life.

This year, the list of the media's richest features for the first time local moguls who have been rocketed into the wealth stratosphere thanks, mainly, to last year's publishing phenomenon The Dorking Review.

Sixth in the media business top 20 is head of the EIF News & Features empire, Ellis Ian Fields, who is said to be worth £47.50, six first-class stamps and £78-worth of Nectar points. Juanita Juan, of the seedy Col Juan News Agency, comes in at ninth with £32.65 and "the fortune I'm sitting on, hun."

Also in the top 20 are Leviticus Skoob, of Skoob Entertainment News and author of the popular series of stories about unfortunate everyman, Martin Shuttlecock.

Rich List expert Phil T Lucre said: "These guys suddenly arrived on the back of that book The Dorking Review - it was a phenomenon: they made a fortune on the film rights and the advances on the next edition are rumoured to be in the hundreds of millions."

Also new to the list this year is Ganymede Yeoman, landlord of legendary Chiswick watering hole The Tabard Inn, famous for being the haunt of EIF and CJ staffers.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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