Written by Morse

Wednesday, 21 September 2011

image for White Bulger Reward Scam Tied to Iceland, UBS, and Rogue Trader as Plot Unravels!
UBS Rogue Trader Just Tip of Iceberg in Latest US Scandal!

INTERPOL is now looking into the nefarious connection between the recent capture of
Whitey Bulger, the bogus reward payout, the Icelandic Mafia, and the Rogue Trader at UBS responsible for a $2.5B bad investment bet!

After 16 years on the lam, and allegedly hiding in plain sight on a beach front condo in California, skeptical Whitey Watchers seriously doubt he was outed by a resident in Iceland who happened to catch a picture of him during a local California weather forecast while the notorious killer was wind surfing.

According to International News Stringer, Earl Grey, who has spent the last week in Iceland freezing his ass off, local banks and police sources doubt that the tipster was from Iceland, and say if the $2m in reward money had hit the tiny country there was no way anyone could keep it a secret!

Despite the curtain of silence, Earl says his sources reveal that 'a large $2m wire transfer did hit the Central Bank of Iceland 2 days ago, but it was immediately transferred to a numbered account at UBS in Switzerland...except for a small 'handling' fee said to be 'about $100k', although the disposition of that fee is now said to have been lost due to a local power outage when a Romanian Immigrant was electrocuted when trying to steal copper wire leading to the bank's air conditioning unit.

Grey went on to say his investigation has now linked the money to the trading account of recently arrested UBS rogue trader Kweku Adoboli, a 31 year old immigrant from Ghana who worked his way up from janitorial services to Vice President of International Trading.

Apparently, according to investigators, Kweku, who was living in a $1500 a week loft apartment in London encompassing 15,000 square feet, has been identified as a Democratic Party Campaign Bundler after over 1500 text messages, telephone calls, and at least 3 dozen naked pictures were confirmed transmitted between Kweku and DNC Chairperson, and fundraiser Debbie Wasserman Schultz (DWS) in Palm Beach, Fl.

A now contrite, and tearful, Kweku says he was under "intense" pressure to raise at least
$500-$1m for the 2012 election which led me to make some bad investment decisions!"

According to sources at the UBS trading desk, Kweku pushed a few buttons and made
several million share transactions involving US Solar companies Solyndra and Evergreen Solar, allegedly based on insider information from DWS who was a strong congressional proponent of government loans for the financially risky schemes.

Within a week of the transactions, both companies filed for bankruptcy, the FBI has been called in, and company officials are taking the 5th amendment regarding their White House ties, bogus financial statements, and in the case of Solyndra trying to explain why they spent $1.9M in government welfare money on lobbying companies closely connected to the Obama Regime.

In addition to pointing his finger at DWS, Kweku also said he did it for Obama!

"Just last week he said to me via a coded message on TV....If you love me, you've got to make those trades NOW..Debbie told me he'd reach out to me secretly and he did...no one told me he was setting me up to take this big fall...he's worse than any Nigerian Scammer I've ever got an e-mail from....my dad always warned me about Kenyans...seems they're always looking for some goat to take the fall when they screw up...I guess that be me!"

DWS, Rebekah Brooks,Al Gore and Ana Chapman were unavailable to comment on this report.

And this Breaking News Just In:

Boston law enforcement officials now report Whitey Bulger did not return from his
work furlough job at the Sanitation Department where he was employed 3 days a week driving a truck to the Boston landfill.

Apparently Whitey disappeared 4 days ago but his disappearance was just noticed when a Boston labor union Sanitation official called police inquiring why Whitey hadn't shown up to work.

Jail officials say it looks like his bunk hadn't been slept in for at least 3 nights, but that since he hadn't taken his toothbrush and shaving kit, 'he couldn't have gone far...I'm sure he'll wander back any day!"

Officials are now trying to locate his long time girl friend Catherine Grieg who was also jailed, but can't be accounted for since meeting with FBI agents over dinner at Anthony's Pier Four restaurant 3 days ago.

And speaking of waste management and recycling, the European Union has just announced sanctions against MI6,5, 4 and 3 regarding the use of locking Wheelie Travel Bags during
"field operations and training missions."

The agencies are being cited by Health 'n Safety mandates for not having an emergency release tab inside 'just in case someone gets locked innit while practicing 'escape and invasion' techniques."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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