A service was held under 6 feet of water this morning in Morton-twix-Heron after occultists burst a nearby reservoir in preparation for their own Easter thanksgiving.
In their version of events, a frogman in a white shroud emerges from a watery crypt at least 30 feet down, releasing 5,000 fish which are then caught and eaten by the floating congregation using harpoons.
Police are now holding Desmond Zanzibar in custody on suspicion of criminal damage and endangering human life after a deluge of muddy water piled through the medieval windows of St Gatts - St Bots at around 8.30am this morning.
Some parishioners where swept into the choir whilst others were carried down the nave and out into the apse. Many mobility scooters were damaged beyond repair and the bill for restoration and laundry is expected to run into millions.
Rev Michael Benson commented - "I've held communion in the blitz, but this is a first for me. Cleaning the organ will be a massive job."
