Tunisia: - Millions of Good Friday pilgrims were gathering here in Tunisia today, in order to pay homage to Brian, a fictional, sort of Jesus-like character in the film, 'Monty Python's Life Of Brian.'
Pilgrims flooded into the country from such diverse locations as Acapulco, Dar Es Salaam, New York City, Stockholm.and West London.
One common thread among the pilgrims appears to be that Brian has been a terribly neglected figure in history and has not been accorded the recognition he rightfully deserves.
"Brian has not been accorded the recognition he rightfully deserves!" one pilgrim shouted, before pouring lighter fluid over a stray cat and setting it alight.
One pilgrim, a Mister Eric Scuttledick, of Titchfield in Hampshire, UK, told reporters that in tribute to the glorious Brian, he would refuse to eat lark's tongues, and would sing 'Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life!' at the top of his voice in his hotel room.
All day and all night. If necessary.
A Vatican spokesman absolutely slated the rough draft of this expose, calling it:
"A shoddy and plagiaristic attempt to garner a few laughs from a controversial film which should never really have been controversial in the first place, because it wasn't really blasphemous anyway. Just a bit of fun sponsored by a former Beatle, and written and performed by a bunch of upper class British twits. The less said about this, the better, as far as I'm concerned. It's not even as if Brian was the true Messiah - he was just a very naughty boy. His own mother said that, so you can quote me on it. There was always something dodgy about that Brian's family. His mum was was really a bloke in drag who appeared to make a living by performing Horatio on Roman Centurions. For what it's worth, I think these people who come to pay homage to that load of old bollix are all a tad loco."
Yet despite the Vatican's condemnation, pilgrim Bob J Diddly of Akronism, Ohio, was not deterred in his mission.
"It may not all be historically accurate," he admitted. "But venerating Brian beats the hell out of letting snakes bite you, or not drinking beer because some guy from Utah said it ain't right. That's all just a crock o' shit. Gimme Brian anyday!"
Way to go Bob.
More as we get it.
