London - It's 14 years since the dodgiest of dodgy Piss Process treaties was signed under a waxing fool moon by Hellfire fantasist Tony B Liar.
Today Government confidence in the 1998 Good Friday Agreement small print suffered a setback as mobile hacking cops tightened the noose on bent politicians and their Hellfire Club chums.
Sub-clauses seen by a QM-NewsCorpse stringer says the House of Windsor is likely to be rattled by a scandal tomorrow with little hope of any successful cover-up.
"Mostly about the Middletons and their gold-digger aspirations to take over royal residences like Kensington Palace," our-man-with-the-deep-throat whispered this afternoon.
At Number 10 the PM's personal numerologist Dr Fanny Figures warned that tomorrow's 19.18GMT lunation carries some end of World War I payback themes 'because the numbers are so similar'. (WTF this got to do with anything? - 'Ed')
Her frantic memo also stresses the 6th April is a traditional seismic shocker because three of the world's worst quakes have taken place on that very day.
The 1580 Dover Straits tremor was one of the worst ever recorded according to a letter from noted 16th century English scholar Gabriel Harvey to Edmund Spenser, author of the Faerie Queen.
Less than 100 years later in Dubrovnik the 1667 quake destroyed an entire city and killed nearly 5,000 people as they slept in their beds.
And in 2009 a 6.3 magnitude tremor struck the Italian village of L'Aquila near killing 307 and injuring thousands.
"Some daft modern-day Passover Plot, this!" David Cameron's tarot reader tweeted after reading about this nonsense.
"Really total and utter bollox."
