Brixton stallholder's fury at Osborne 'pasty' tax

Funny story written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 27 March 2012

image for Brixton stallholder's fury at Osborne 'pasty' tax
Cops confiscated the entire secret herbal ingredient stash in a popular hot toddy

London - An Electric Avenue jerk hut proprietor has spoken of his dismay at the new 20% VAT hike on hot takeaway food.

"Damn tax on munchies in this time of adversities," Sammy Aikliss grumbled tonight, "filthy thievin Tory bastards is poachin the proceeds of man's honest toil."

A veteran Brixton Market stallholder 'since before Mrs Thatcher stole the schoolkids' milk' Mr Aikliss was recently in the news lamenting police mischief in SW2.

Apparently some over-zealous cops confiscated his entire supply of homegrown herbal Irish Sphagnum Moss - a vital ingredient in his St Patrick's Day Jamaican Peanut Punch.

"Dat hot toddy's served at 70 degrees," Aikliss explained to QM-NewsCorpse amid rumors of market VAT inspectors pouncing with one of George Osborne's hand-hot tests.

"Drink it when munching on mah fabled jerk hotdog, or some world famous hash browns - now taxable even if slightly tepid.

"Hehe, mah hood's hotter then dat jerk hotdog, wanna see it sizzle under dem stars tonight?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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