Banana thrower cleared of racial abuse on grounds that he's been living under a rock for the last forty years

Funny story written by Mohan Boone

Friday, 16 March 2012

image for Banana thrower cleared of racial abuse on grounds that he's been living under a rock for the last forty years

A massive racist who had been caught on camera throwing bananas at a Premier League football player was cleared of all charges of racial abuse at Preston Crown Court yesterday after it was revealed that he'd been living under a rock since 1972.

Guy Levis, who is unemployed and has a shaved head, told reporters that racial prejudice was simply a part of everyday life when he moved into a basement flat under The Rock pub in Burnley all those years ago. "How was I to know that things have changed?" he said. "Before I went to live under the rock we would take a bunch of bananas to every game. We'd stop at Tesco's on the way especially."

The trial, which ran for seven days, seemed to be destined for a guilty verdict, until Clayton Hopp, the defendants lawyer - who is rated as one of the best in the business - brought to the jury's attention the matter of the rock.

"We were definitely going to send him down," an anonymous jury member revealed to us. "He seemed to be a scoundrel, a hooligan, a lager lout and maybe even a white van man. We were in no doubt that this pot-bellied skin head was a scourge on society. But then the rock came into play. How is he to know about racial tolerance if he's been living under a rock all these years?"

The Premier League footballer (who for legal reasons we are not allowed to name - but who we can assure you is an idiot) tweeted last night that "I fought the skinhead was out of order, but nuf respect, bet it's tuff living under a rock all dat time............anyone wanna play fifa?"

Meanwhile, Clayton Hopp is rumoured to be preparing a case for the defence of an accused serial killer. His main argument will be that the defendant couldn't possibly be guilty because he was literally stuck between a rock and a hard place at the time of the murders.

More to follow.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more