Cheltenham, Gloucs - Deprived of insider betting tips from jump racing's tipping grand masters Charlie and Rebekah Brooks the Queen went with her gut feeling this afternoon to back 20/1 no hoper Wishful Thonking.
Witnesses say HM blithely placed a heavy wedge via her taxpayer-sponsored C*untts & Co gold card safe in the knowledge that the gambling tab would be picked up by granddaughter Kate Middleton's actual husband Chancellor George Osborne at the Treasury.
Wishful Thinking duly flopped causing some Diamond Jubilee revelers to say it's a sign of things to come with the Queen's own grossly inflated 60 years-on-the-throne fantasies.
Tonight the Queen will be present at her usual pre-Gold Cup seance at the Hellfire Chapel in Windsor Castle where the Brookses have been regular attendees.
Apparently someone called 'Diana' has promised to materialise a hexoplasm betting slip with the name of the 2012 Gold Cup winner.
"We suspect it's 100-1 long shot Weird Al," a Qm-NewsCorpse sauce commented.
"Wanna see pix of Old Fatty Mountbatten and Al Gore in a Seizures Palace sauna with no clothes on?"
Probably not...
