Horseradish Sauce comes under scrutiny

Funny story written by IainB

Thursday, 17 November 2011

image for Horseradish Sauce comes under scrutiny
No horse, no radish there is not even any saws, just why is it called horseradish sauce?

Horseradish sauce, the white sauce that is twenty percent vegetable and eighty percent concentrated sulphuric acid with a dash of chilli to cool down the acid. However, it has come under fire by the Naming Convention Society as the unpopular condiment contains neither radish nor horse.

"It is against all that is decent," said Wasabi Broccoli, who is in charge of food stuffs for the Naming Convention Society. "If something is called orange jelly, it contains both jelly and oranges. This is not the case with horseradish sauce. I think it's called this because horse and sauce rhyme. However, I have checked the ingredients very carefully and there is not a single horse in it, and it has never been near a radish. We could let them off if it was a tradename, like Coca Cola, which contains neither coca or cola, but is a trademarked name. Anybody can create a horseradish sauce, though."

And it is here where the Naming Convention Society can hit the government for change. As there are no standards as to what goes into horseradish sauce, it could contain anything.

"Could you imagine if it contained some disgusting root vegetable in mustard and vinegar with chopped leaves in it?" asked Broccoli. "Exactly."

Horseradish sauce has been a favourite of the previous generation for as long as anybody can remember, with the current generation in any generation despising it.

"It's too hot, isn't it?" said one shopper under the age of eighty when asked about it.

"I have it with everything," said another shopper over the age of eighty. "It goes great with sausage, beef, digestive biscuits, toast. You name it, it goes with it. I eat it with a spoon."

A taste test outside J. Asco's Supermarket in Dorking, revealed that nobody realised that it contained neither horse nor radish, and that children under twelve should not be given horseradish sauce as it causes them to plunge their head into a fountain while screaming "it's too hot, it's too hot, arrrrrgh".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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