We'll continue to treat OAP's as despicably as we do everybody else, insist NHS doctors

Funny story written by Deafo

Tuesday, 1 November 2011

Doctors ordered to show old people more respect by NHS management have denied they need to change their methods, saying old people would continue to be treated just as despicably as everybody else in their stead.

The British Medical Association allege senior bosses issued a warning to doctors, urging them to reconsider the manner in which they administered medical care to senior citizens on hospital wards, causing severe discomfort amongst its members.

Spokesman for the BMA, Saul Mee, said expecting doctors to show differing levels of care to patients who wouldn't notice any difference if they were being cared for on the Orient Express, was especially difficult in modern health care.

He told reporters, 'It's all well and good senior NHS management sending out edicts on how we should treat the old on the wards, but they just don't realize how stressful and time consuming it is to treat sick people humanely, particularly the old.'

'The old of today, they're horrid.'

'They can scarcely hear, you have to raise your voice when your examining their emaciated bodies, and you get no thanks from them for doing the job you are paid so handsomely for, none at all.'

'So I just don't see the point in talking to them pleasantly when you can put your point across much more effectively by dragging them about crudely and sending them on their way out the door as quickly as they can physically muster.'

Mr Mee hoped an agreement could be struck in relation to the handling of old people in hospital.

'What we need is a sort of OAP sin-bin on each ward.'

'Then allocate four pensioners to take the brunt of the neglect for their elderly counterparts in care.'

'Then we'll see who is moaning about respect.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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