History Lesson Figures Enrage Top Academic Again

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Tuesday, 20 September 2011

image for History Lesson Figures Enrage Top Academic Again
Sorry Ken, we lost the Stalin one.

A top academic responded angrily yesterday to further evidence that history lessons were being squeezed out of schools.

Research by the Historical Association shows that rising numbers of pupils are receiving just two years of compulsory history lessons during secondary education.

Many schools also fail to offer history as a discreet subject at all - often merging it with geography to form generic 'humanities' lessons. The news follows separate figures published this summer showing that the overall proportion of pupils studying history in state comprehensives dropped by almost a fifth under Labour

Top historian Ken Lucid, who yesterday announced his acceptance of the Herodotus Chair of History at Hounslow University, reacted angrily to the latest revelations.

"You bet I'm hacked off - you keep coming back to me and asking me the same question: 'What do you think of these latest figures?'

"Well, what do you bloody well think I think of them? It explains why I keep coming up against kids who've only ever heard of bloody Hitler, Stalin or Julius bloody Caesar.

"Ask them about the Great Reform Act and they think you mean Blur at Glastonbury last year, for crying out loud."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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