Written by Big Stu

Saturday, 1 October 2011

image for Titanic stolen by scrap metal thieves
Has the Titanic been sold in Exchange and Mart?

The wreck of the liner RMS Titanic, sunk on its maiden voyage after a collision with James Cameron in 1997, has been stolen, it was announced today.

Lying in two halves at a depth of five miles in the middle of the North Atlantic, the wreck is thought to have been taken by thieves using a grappling hook and a white flat-bed Ford Transit seen on a cross-channel ferry stolen from Fishguard three days ago.

The wreck is believed to have been stolen to order and police have released a description of it. Detective Inspector Ron Trouser of Scotland Yard has told people to be on the look out:

"We know what kind of things people offer us in pubs. We are asking for everyone to be on the lookout for someone trying to sell them a seven hundred foot canoe showing a few signs of rust or a genuine Edwardian superliner with one careful owner from new.

"The public need to be aware. A cut-and-shut repair to a vehicle is dangerous and most insurance companies will not pay out if you have an accident in one."

Police in Essex have refused to comment on reports that the ship was seen tied to a caravan at Dale Farm.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Theft, Titanic

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